Why 3 days notice to marry is a bad idea.

Dawn Dickson of the ACMCV

In 1974 Lionel Murphy’s dream was realised,  to enable people to be married by their peers, with words of their choice, at a time and place of their choice, in circumstances that suited them. Prior to then, marriages were the domain of the Christian churches or State Registry Offices.  Non-believers, non church-goers and divorcees were usually refused a church wedding and were forced to marry in the cold stark Registry Office.    Civil celebrants started to deliver meaningful ceremonies, incorporating beautiful words,  poetry, music, and more recently included the couple’s personal stories. 

Initially only 7 days notice was required by the couple but that changed to a month and a day and more recently to a calendar month.  

At a recent meeting of the Coalition of Celebrant Associations with the Marriage Law Celebrant Section one association representative asked about the possibility of reducing the month’s notice to lodge the Notice of Intent to Marry to 3 days.     Since then that network of celebrants has approached many other celebrants about putting together a submission to send to members of parliament requesting this change.

There are many reasons why a change to 3 days would destroy our livelihoods as celebrants.   The way it stands now,  couples have to wait a month.  That allows them time to consider the steps they are taking,  and also a chance for the celebrant to meet with them and ascertain, in his or her opinion, that there is real consent on both sides.   A month is a reasonable ‘cooling off’ period as well.  In the heat of a moment of passion, after a few drinks,  and only having met a day or two before,  people easily get carried away!  

In the event,  (and it is highly unlikely in our opinion) that the minimum time be reduced to 3 days – a couple would not have the time to plan a ceremony and celebration,  there would be no time for a creatively written ceremony,  so the celebrant would be forced to do a standard registry office type ceremony,  either ceremony number 1, 2 or 3!   

This would suit the ‘pop up’ celebrant companies that are appearing all over Melbourne, using deceiving names that align them with government agencies.    Almost a ‘drive through ceremony’ for a couple of hundred dollars.  There are already a lot of them operating, and their business would increase if the time was shortened.  

But in our opinion, most couples still want traditional ceremonies,  conducted with professional and dignity,  the way that Lionel Murphy intended them to be.  The wedding venues have had to struggle through the Covid shut downs,  and many of them didn’t survive.   They need the big weddings to keep going, just as we do as celebrants. 

The system we have in place works perfectly.  As celebrants, we need that month and more to be creative in putting together the very best ceremony we can for our couples.   

We all need to work up to a standard,  do the best ceremonies we can,  and be properly remunerated for it.  

Dawn Dickson

Secretary,  Association of Civil Marriage Celebrants of Vic Inc.

Ph: 0412613853

www.acmcv.org.au